Jul 26

Given the regular occurrence of tragedy in the news, it is not uncommon to fluctuate between feeling numb to tragic news and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. The Franciscan friar, Richard Rohr aptly states that “If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it.” Emotional pain is one of those experiences that can influence people to react in as many different ways as you can imagine (from productive to destructive). Grieving and enduring emotional pain (disappointment, rejection, sadness, etc.) is an important emotional experience. Despite the desire to avoid or minimize emotional pain, it is often the expression of pain that strengthens relationships and social support. Continue reading »

Jun 28

Malcolm Gladwell’s new podcast, Revisionist History, debuted with an episode entitled The Lady Vanishes. One of the major themes of the episode is the perplexing notion of moral self-licensing. This occurs when a person exhibits progress in some issue of social or moral importance only to result in an increase in contradictory behaviors. In other words, when we do something good, we feel good about what we have done, this leads to feeling an increase in our moral standing (a moral surplus so to speak), which then leads to a feeling of freedom to act in ways that contradict that standing (moral deficit). It’s the “I gave at the office so I can now ignore those in need” mentality.  Almost like earning enough good will to spend it on immoral actions. This can be seen in small ways each day (“I feel good about having a salad for lunch so I’ll go ahead and splurge on dinner and dessert tonight.”) or in larger, systemic ways (the firm hires its first female partner but an internal sexist environment intensifies). Continue reading »

Jun 21

Our natural instinct toward the things we fear is to avoid them. Our logic, although most often beneath our awareness, is that if we ignore it, it will go away. Ignorance is bliss. Or at least we hope it is. Unfortunately, this approach leads to increased anxiety, as opposed to a decrease. Anxiety (unhealthy fear) is like a weed. It often grows to take up the space that you give it. Avoiding something that makes you anxious usually results in that anxiety growing and impacting your life to a greater degree. Continue reading »

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