Apr 18

There is probably no better example of acting before you feel like it than the concept of bravery. By definition, bravery requires one to act in the face of fear, not the absence of it. We can often misuse bravery to imply that someone does not experience fear in a situation (“Look at her, she’s so confident and brave. Nothing rattles her.”). When we misuse the word bravery we can inadvertently tell ourselves that being brave requires a sense of unflappable confidence. Bravery suddenly seems at odds with doubt and fear. Quite the contrary, bravery is acting despite our doubt and fear. Continue reading »

Apr 04

Contrary to popular belief, forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is an action. Done well, forgiveness can be freeing and can allow the person to heal from a painful experience and become more resilient as a result. But there are a lot of misconceptions and fears that surround forgiveness, what it is, what it is not, and what the result might be. Continue reading »

Mar 28

“I feel ready. Now I can act.” The order of those phrases sounds logical. First you feel ready and then you act on that feeling. No obvious controversy there. Yet some of the common phrases we toss around in everyday conversation are not only inaccurate, but they also negatively affect our abilities to accomplish what we desire. This is often used in terms of assessing our motivation to do something difficult. In this example, waiting to feel motivated (or ready) will most often prevent you from accomplishing something that you never knew was possible. In fact reversing the order of those original ideas is often more accurate and advantageous. I decide to act and then I notice my feelings changing. Continue reading »

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