May 19

The idea of forgiving someone who has hurt/wronged us is an unnatural idea. As human beings, we both crave control in our lives (this makes us feel safe) and we are motivated to avoid pain (this also makes us feel safe). These two basic desires make it very difficult for us to forgive others and to let go of offenses. After all, we want to have some control over preventing bad things from happening to us in the future. Our desire to protect ourselves makes sense, however the way in which we go about it often leads to our continued harm. Continue reading »

May 05

In many areas of life, much weight is put on the reasons why we choose to do one thing and not another. For example, in the area of moral development a person’s reason for his/her decision is much more important than the actual decision. This is often demonstrated in scenarios of moral dilemmas where a person is asked what they would do (e.g., Your child needs an expensive medicine to survive but you cannot afford it. Do you steal it to save your child?), and then asked for their reason for making that decision. The actual decision does not tell you anything about the person’s moral development, but the reason behind the decision does (e.g., I would steal the medicine because my family would be mad at me if I didn’t; versus, I would steal the medicine because my child’s life would supersede the agreed upon laws and my good reputation and I would be willing to accept any consequences of breaking those laws in order to protect my child.). Continue reading »

Apr 28

Stress management is a big industry these days. Whether its relaxation techniques, meditation, yoga, mindfulness or therapy, there are many options for how we can better manage our stress and anxiety in life. When lawyers come to talk with me about how to manage their anxiety and stress more effectively, they often expect to be told to practice some mindfulness or deep breathing technique (which are great by the way, so yes, please do them). But for some types of stress and anxiety, a different approach can be more effective, and more fun. Continue reading »

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