Your first question might be whether there really is a problem. Start with the warning signs below and you can have our help from there. Our clinicians can help anyone -- a colleague, family member, or friend -- who…
In this 33-minute installment of Webinars for Busy Lawyers, Dr. Sarah Reiff-Hekking shares her system for getting control over your life as a lawyer back from the force of procrastination. https://youtu.be/JlVIvZFD6m4?si=9pDB2vmjJWms06jd No one enjoys struggling with procrastination — but…
You’re not a pot roast. Has anyone ever told you that? No? Well, let me be the first. It’s important to remember that you are not a pot roast. Now you might be thinking, “I’ve never been confused about being a pot roast. So why are you telling me this?” That’s a fair question. Allow me to explain.
Are you about to start law school? Congratulations . . . You have probably heard at least a few horror stories about the stress, the dropout rate, the prevalence of depression, the high student loans, the competition, the high rates of substance use, and how law school is either like military boot camp, the Hunger Games, or the battle between Gandalf and the Balrog. Challenges shape us, and law school is a life changing experience. Needless to say, it is best to have some helpful strategies at the ready, even before it seems they are necessary.
The stats are alarming which indicate that before entering law school a student is just as likely to have experienced depression as any other adult in the general population (which is about 7%). After one year of law school, 32% of law students experience depression. It keeps rising to 40% by the end of the third year. So what is it about law school, and in particular the first year of law school that is so stressful to law students? While there are many sources of stress in the first year of law school, two particular stressors stick out as significant for many students: the Imposter Syndrome and the Socratic Method.
Stress management is a big industry these days. Whether its relaxation techniques, meditation, yoga, mindfulness or therapy, there are many options for how we can better manage our stress and anxiety in life. When lawyers come to talk with me about how to manage their anxiety and stress more effectively, they often expect to be told to practice some mindfulness or deep breathing technique (which are great by the way, so yes, please do them). But for some types of stress and anxiety, a different approach can be more effective, and more fun.
We all want to succeed. We want to make the best decisions, complete our work successfully, and feel competent in the things we are asked to do. However, when our desire for success becomes a pursuit of perfection, analysis paralysis can be the by-product of the fear of failure. When we want perfection so badly or when we fear failing too much, making the wrong decision can seem like the worst thing ever. This can influence us to avoid an uncomfortable decision, feeling frozen or weighed down; your brain unable to act.
Contrary to popular belief, forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is an action. Done well, forgiveness can be freeing and can allow the person to heal from a painful experience and become more resilient as a result. But there are a lot of misconceptions and fears that surround forgiveness, what it is, what it is not, and what the result might be.
“I feel ready. Now I can act.” The order of those phrases sounds logical. First you feel ready and then you act on that feeling. No obvious controversy there. Yet some of the common phrases we toss around in everyday conversation are not only inaccurate, but they also negatively affect our abilities to accomplish what we desire. This is often used in terms of assessing our motivation to do something difficult. In this example, waiting to feel motivated (or ready) will most often prevent you from accomplishing something that you never knew was possible. In fact reversing the order of those original ideas is often more accurate and advantageous. I decide to act and then I notice my feelings changing.
The fear of failure is often at the heart of perfectionism. The idea of failure has such a powerful effect on so many of us. We hear messages from multiple sources about the importance of success, the perils of failure, and how failure can taint any accomplishment that one has worked hard to achieve. The more someone fears failure, the more likely they are to avoid trying something that they find challenging. This limits learning and the possibility of achieving something great. Obviously, without risk there can be no reward. So logically we know that we must risk failure to achieve success. I’ll take it further than that: We need failure (yes, failure) in order to achieve success.