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Which is More Important – the Therapy or the Therapist?

When we see lawyers/law students (or their family members) at LCL who we think would benefit from ongoing therapy (you can call it counseling if you prefer), we make an effort to match them with clinicians with whom we have some experience or have at least acquired relevant information.  That’s one of the reasons why coming to LCL for a referral is usually better than simply selecting one from a list.  My own approach, if I’ve gotten to know the therapist even a little, is to visualize him or her with the client in front of me, and get a sense of how that might go.  The fact is that, while some therapists are more helpful than others, none is a good match for everyone.

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Try fast – Fail fast – Evaluate fast – Try again fast

The fear of failure is often at the heart of perfectionism. The idea of failure has such a powerful effect on so many of us. We hear messages from multiple sources about the importance of success, the perils of failure, and how failure can taint any accomplishment that one has worked hard to achieve. The more someone fears failure, the more likely they are to avoid trying something that they find challenging. This limits learning and the possibility of achieving something great. Obviously, without risk there can be no reward. So logically we know that we must risk failure to achieve success. I’ll take it further than that: We need failure (yes, failure) in order to achieve success.

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The Secret to Effective Communication is Active Listening

Have you ever been told that you don’t understand, even though you think you really do understand? Have you ever had a person tell you something over and over again and wondered why they felt the need to tell you again? If so, the reason is because that person did not feel truly understood. When we do not feel as though the listener understands us, we want to explain it again in order to achieve understanding. Once understanding is communicated, support is felt.

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The Importance of Sleep

It might be obvious to say, but sleep is really important. No, really. It’s really important. We all know that it is important to get a good night’s sleep, yet most of us do not get adequate sleep at night. The average adult needs 7-9 hours of sleep each night. This, by the way, does not count the minutes/hours spent lying in bed awake, reading, thinking about your day, making to-do lists, etc. I have often had the thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if I only needed an hour of sleep a night? I could be so productive!” This mentality frames sleep as a barrier to productivity. The reality is, adequate sleep is what allows us to be productive in the first place.

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The 2-Minute Rule: Fighting Procrastination

One of the more common issues that professionals struggle with is the all-too-common procrastination. Procrastination, just like salsa, can be mild (putting off a simple task that you eventually complete within a few days), intense (developing a pattern of avoiding certain activities or tasks that one day lead to serious consequences), and everything in between. However, unlike salsa, there is no mango version of procrastination.

Simply put, procrastination is avoidance. We avoid things that make us uncomfortable. We avoid things that we fear. And the more you avoid something, the harder it is to confront. It’s like that email you got from an old friend that you were meaning to reply to. At first you put it off because you weren’t sure what to say (avoidance), then maybe you forgot about it, then you remembered that you hadn’t responded, you then felt bad, and then continued to avoid responding because it was now more uncomfortable because you still don’t know what to say AND you feel bad about it. 

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