Depressed in office, no one to talk and share my problems

I am rather depressed in office as there is no one to talk and share my problems. Since I am working for the head of a private firm and specially handling most of the confidential work, I feel very lonely and isolated. Everyone in office do not talk to me much. The main mental agony I am facing now is the person I work for does not talk to me and he ignores me very often. Whenever I talk to him he just replies with a word or two. I feel this is just a signal he is giving me that I am not so important to him. But I know that there is something happening without my knowledge and that he has a soft spot over somebody else in office who is facing a lot of family problems. I feel very upset and disappointed after hearing everything. Now I dont feel like coming for work and spend even a minute in office. But I cannot stay away as I have 3 dependants and find some money. I know this must be a very week point of mine. But I just cannot get over it. Please help and teach me how I should work and what I should do.

From the sound of your anonymously submitted question, you find yourself in a work environment in which you have no positive connections with others — not with your “boss” and not with your coworkers. That would not be ideal for anyone, and many people would be looking for another job.

But in reading your question, we also find ourselves wondering:

    • Are others really pushing you away as much as you think?


    • If they are, are they responding to some of your behaviors toward them, or to some subtle negative “signals” that they feel from you?


  • Is there a pattern of feeling isolated or excluded in prior jobs?

As these questions suggest, there may be value in looking at your own part in contributing to the distress you are experiencing.

We also wonder whether your life outside the office may not include enough friends and community – if so, you may be bringing all your social needs to the office, and hoping for more closeness and caring than you’re going to get there. If that’s the case, and we know it can be difficult if you’re raising kids, the best way to help yourself may be developing more connections with others when you’re not at work.

It could be helpful to review all of this in much more detail with a therapist/counselor. If you are a lawyer, law student, or lawyer’s family member, we can provide an initial evaluation and seek out a referral for you. If not, and if you give us a call, we may be able to give you names of some clinicians in your area.

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